Archive for the ‘Monologues’ Category

Walkway of Hell

Sunday, June 9th, 2013

You’re the boy I can’t keep my eyes off. You’re the boy that as I walk through the halls I see you and blush. You’re the one I’ve had a crush on for years now, you’re the one who won’t like me back.

Captured by Tiffany Tremaine.

Captured by Tiffany Tremaine.

We talk like best friends, act like sweethearts, but we are just friends. All the effort I’ve put in has placed me in this place of friends. But friends is better than strangers. At least it lets me in your life. Your life of confusion and lost love. You’re fighting for a girl who doesn’t love you back. So why don’t you just turn around and let me. I’d show you compassion no other girl would. I’d show you the love I’ve stored up in my chest.

But your happiness isn’t mine to bring. It’s hers. The girl you are fighting so hard for. She’s the one who holds your heart. But I’ll hold your hand and walk beside you down this walkway of hell. I’ll help you get through this broken heart of yours. But I won’t forget the feelings I’ve buried. I’ll push them away so we can be happy.

Captured by Tiffany Tremaine.

Captured by Tiffany Tremaine.

I’ll push them away so I can help you find love. I’ll push them away till I’m convinced they’re gone. But deep down, I’ll always know. Deep down I’ll hate how I never stood up and kissed you. Deep down, I’ll be ashamed. But up front, I am happy. I am here. I am well. I show no sign of the war I’ve fought. I show no sign of the pain I’ve seen.

I’ll store that love for the one who will return it. I’ll store that compassion for someone who will appreciate it. I’ll save myself for someone who is right. I just hope that he’s waiting for me just as I am for him.


Photography by Tiffany Tremaine.

So Lost

Sunday, June 2nd, 2013

This is a fictional monologue.

I’m one of those people that don’t like hurting others. They can’t hurt them even if it means saving themselves. They would rather stab their own back then stab someone who has stabbed theirs tons of times. They’d take a bullet for their worst enemy. Because seeing others in pain, hurts them.

I feel so lost… I lost myself in the process of trying to find out who I really am. I’m gone; the old, happy me is gone… she’s vanished… I look in my mirror and see a girl with swollen, bloodshot eyes. With puffy lips and pink cheeks. I see a girl who has dug herself too deep. I see pain behind her eyes that she hides oh so well.

But at school, she’s so different. I see a bright, but fake, smile. I see eyes that have seen terrible things and lips that have been bitten to the point of breaking. But I don’t see myself. I never see that happy girl anymore. She’s gone. She’s been hurt too much to count. Too much to rebound.

That girl is buried too deep in pain. She’s drowned.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t want her back, I want to smile and feel love and be happy. I want someone to unconditionally love me for me. But that won’t ever happen right.


Wednesday, May 15th, 2013

Fictional Post.

The most beautiful thing in the world has to be the way the snowflakes gently fall to the ground, the way they softly land on your closed eyes. They cling to your eyelashes like a child grasping a mothers hand as it takes its first steps. But as I watch it melts from your lashes and more take it’s place. Eager to fill the space.

Being happy is like holding a baby and hearing it’s first laugh, it’s having a young child come up and hug you for no reason, it’s like hearing a bird sing it’s song of love, of seeing two cats curled into each other, it’s seeing two elderly people walking holding hands. It’s true, long lasting love.


And as the snow starts falling again, it picks up speed and more and more falls. Slowly trying to cover us. You gradually open your eyes, and I wonder if you were asleep… Your eyes carry the weight of grogginess. The blue seems not as bright today, instead of a bright Caribbean blue, they seem to be a light cloudy blue. The look in your eyes told me you couldn’t tell if this was a dream or not. So, acting as though its a dream, I pull you towards me and kiss you for the last time. As I let you go, I feel my mind go numb as the world around me fades. And I realize, if there’s any way to die, this would be it…

Growing Up With You

Sunday, March 24th, 2013

Growing up, I always felt like my brother, Simon, always got a lot of attention. I felt like everyone would take his side, even if it was his fault. But whenever we went up to visit you, you would always take my side, no matter what it was. You would eat the food that I didn’t want, and you would always be there for me.

This is for you.Christmas2011

I sit here with you, cradled in your arms, and I feel so protected. You’re teaching me to fish, and your hands hold mine as I awkwardly hold the fishing pole. You try helping me get a better grip, but it doesn’t seem to be working. That’s when we feel the tug. We’re holding the pole and it’s jerked to the side, then to the other side, then back. You hold tighter trying to make sure I don’t let go of the pole. You tell me to start reeling it in, so I do, really, really slowly. You help me and together we pull in the fish. It was huge. It was twisting and turning and trying to get free. So you pulled it into the boat and as you’re getting the hook from its mouth you look at me and see there are tears in my eyes. All I can think of is, “Maybe it’s a dad, or mom, what about its children…” But I don’t say anything. This is what you do. I want to be like you. You look into my eyes, and  I smile, and you smile back. You look at the fish, and you see it’s slowly stopping it’s struggle. So you give it to me and say, “Throw it back in the water, come on, I’ll help you.” Your hands cover mine and I throw it back into the water, smiling as I do so.


I look back at you, and a look of adoration fills your face. I turn fully around and throw my arms around you.

As you start paddling back I just start talking, as I usually do, filling the empty space. Every time I look back at you, that face is still there, and you smile at me encouraging me to continue on.

When we get back to shore we find Grandma and the rest and we drive back to the camp. But I don’t want to tell anyone what happened because it was so special to me. If I share it maybe it won’t be as special anymore.

We go back and have partridge and mashed potatoes and sit at the table being the loud, happy family everyone knows us to be. This family is getting bigger… We knew this would happen sooner or later. But no one really expected it to come so fast. We grew up to fast. Moments like this engraved into my mind. I will never forget the times I spent with you and everyone else. Maybe it’s just time to make new ones… new memories. A new life. Thanksgiving2012