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Each Day

Wednesday, August 14th, 2013

Longer day’s shorter nights.
This just feels so right.
Life in the sun living life.
What could go wrong?

WindblownTanning our skin; golden.
It won’t look olden.
Behold a time that is so bright.
Where nothing’s wrong.

Summer flings make life fun.
Time under the sun.
Laughing and fooling around.
Just summer love.

Days get shorter, nights long
Where did we go wrong?
Sweaters covering pale skin.
So far away.

The sun isn’t as warm now,
When the snow is plowed.
The cold flakes tingle my skin.
But melt so fast.

Burning Away

Treasure the time we have.
With a nice warm laugh.
That always is filled with love.
Never forget.

Time will never stand still.
For you or for Bill.
So try to treasure each day.
Each day we live.

Photography by Tiffany Tremaine


Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013

Every time I hear the crash of thunder and see the strike of lightning, I think back to that time lying on my bed with my brother, trying to record it. I remember his arm around me when I was scared. And how the air was heavy with static electricity. And I remember our laughs filling the air and that was when I felt safe. I haven’t had that kind of safe in a while. I haven’t felt that care free in a while. I miss being so innocent. I miss being in the same house with my whole family. I miss being young.

My brothers were always so protective of me. They were always so funny. And they fought a lot. But we always loved each other. Through the blood, sweat, and tears. Now I finally understand what that means.

Growing up with boys has made me a stronger person. It has made me appreciate the delicate things in life, and it has made me confident.

My brothers have all given me different kind of smarts. My brother Nelson has made me wiser and appreciate the beautiful things. He also made me the peace keeper, I remember when he left I was so scared, he always resolved all the fights. But when he left, I felt so small, I was sure my brothers would tear me and each other apart. But I got good at resolving the drama. So Nelson helped me with that, even though he wasn’t there, he was with me in my thoughts, coaxing me to do the right things. It feels like just yesterday he left. Just yesterday I wouldn’t leave my room for days. Just yesterday it felt like I lost everything. We’ve grown a lot since then. Became bigger and stronger people.

Alex gave me creativity. During those storms, he helped me try and capture things. But some things you can’t capture. Like that storm. No matter how hard we tried, the beauty was never there. It was, but diminished. Just like the pictures of our childhood, we were the photographers. Alex loved taking pictures. Now its my job. Because no matter whether its actually caught or not, it still helps remember what happened. And remember everything.


Simon gave me the strength to keep moving. Because we went through a lot together. More than a lot of people know. We used to always be at each others throats, but because of him, I kept pushing, even when people told me I couldn’t. He pushed me to be my best, at the time I hated it, but now… Now its what I need. His encouragement. He has made me so strong. Emotionally. And, in a way, physically.

My brothers have driven me pretty close to insane throughout my life. Heck, they still do. But I love them for it. Because our family wouldn’t be so wild if we weren’t crazy.

At times I can’t stand my family, but they are apart of who I am. I just feel bad for the poor guy who marries me. Three older brothers… Woah. He better be as crazy as we are. I don’t think I’d settle for anything less.

I know that growing up is scary. I know that it means leaving a lot behind. But it also means getting to know my brothers as men instead of boys. My parents as equals instead of superiors.

The Rosien Clan is changing. We’re all growing up. But we will always have our memories…

Letter of Lost Love

Tuesday, May 14th, 2013

This is a fictional letter.

To whomever it may concern;

Thinking of you always brings a smile to my face. You make me laugh in my worst times and on my lowest days, you make me soar. I don’t know how I would have gotten this far without you. But sadly, this letter is not me devoting my love for you, this is a letter to tell you goodbye. I don’t think I’d ever be able to say goodbye to your face, or your voice, I would break down and never want to leave you. This is easier for me. No matter how much I miss you.


You never have, and never will understand how much you mean to me. You are clouds to my sky, the lily to my pond. But just like the sky and just like the pond, I can survive without you, I just feel better with you by my side. There are those cloudless days, they are so beautiful and so bright, they make me remember that I can do it without you, even if I don’t want to.

“Tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something you can’t replace, when you love someone but it goes to waste; could it be worse?

Tears come streaming down you face, I promise you I will learn from my mistakes. Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you.”

This song, is a song that comes on frequently into my headphones, it is such a good song. Fix You, by Coldplay. It keeps me breathing and keeps me smiling, because I remember, that one day, someone will be my light. They will guide me home.

When I think of you, I think of a grey-blue. A blue I have never seen anywhere before, when you look at me, it seems different than how you look at everyone else. But maybe that’s just me. Your eyes seem to melt when you look at me. And they take me in for who I am, not who I was. Which is how a lot of people look at me nowadays.

I know that even though you don’t feel the same way about me, it doesn’t mean you don’t care for me. I know you do. And that makes me cherish you even more.


I see a picture of us, and it takes my breath away, so much that it hurts.

I don’t know when, or even if I will ever see you again, but when I do, I hope I can pretend we’re ok. Even if I want to reach out and touch your face.

I know I can make it. I need to extract the pain from my life, this is me trying.


Girl Who’s Trying

The Connection – Clay 2012

Wednesday, January 16th, 2013

Saskatchewan was such a wonderful trip. We sang songs, made friends, laughed tons, stayed up late, spent meals together, danced late, prayed with love, and just had totally amazing times.

I loved the gatherings. The ones I was there for were fabulous. Everybody was singing and laughing and just having fun. There were some sermons when I was crying because it was emotional, or laughing because something was really funny. I remember the last one so clearly. I was with my friend Colin, we were sitting a few rows back from where my church was sitting. We sat there laughing at something the cowboy priest had said. We sang to all the songs. I remember looking at all the people around me. People I didn’t know were sitting beside me. Colin and I were conversing with random strangers. Laughing with random people. High fiving other groups. By the end of that gathering I believe I hugged at least 5 people I didn’t know. I was surrounded by friends, acquaintances and just people.

Being there I felt so loved and appreciated. At home sometimes I feel alone or stressed and I think back to Saskatchewan. I got closer to a lot of people.

Sometimes in your everyday life you forget that there are people around you. You forget that there are friends who care about you, families who love you, and just people who notice you. When you go to a CLAY meeting it’s hard to forget that, people are always talking to you there, always listening to you. You’re rarely alone there. And you feel so loved.

When I went, I think it was the second or third day; I got a concussion and was stuck in a hotel room for a whole day. It was soo

My friends that I met in Saskatchewan, they have changed my life. (The Avengers)

horrible. Going back I was nervous no one would notice I was gone, but the second they saw me at my lunch table my friends came running over to me and hugged me saying they missed me and were so worried about me. It feels great to be missed… And to this day those people and I are still friends, we have those moments engraved in our hearts.

When someone sings a silly song at home, people might be scared, they don’t want to embarrass themselves, but there everyone acts silly. The song “Lions” always got the crowds so crazy. My friend and I went to meet the band and they were hilarious, so happy and excited to be there with us.

When my friends and I would sing the song Lions or Days of Elijah or anything like that, we’d go fully into actions and be laughing and just having fun. You can be yourself there without worrying about someone judging you. Even though you’re in a place full of teenagers, there isn’t much judging.

My friends always tell me that I’m not the type of person to be shy and unnoticed. Where ever I am, I stand out, even when I was little. So going there I was scared of what people would think of me. But the moment the games started, I realized, they don’t care, they’re just as nervous as I am, and just as weird as I am. It’s good to be unique.

Now I have made a deeper bond than I though possible with my best friend.

Clay has given me soo many cherishing moments, and so much knowledge. I am so happy I went; it has changed who I am. It has given me things to hold onto when I’m sad, memories to laugh about when I’m with these people, and most of all, it has given me a deeper love. For everything; God, people and myself.

It has been at least 5 months since I saw some of my friends, but we are all still so close, we talk frequently, and skype lots. But they aren’t the only people I got closer to. I got closer to people that I’ve known all of my life. It gave me a deeper connection to them. (que Clay members “Can you feel the connection, people here are joined together…”)There’s no way of getting out of making deep, lasting bonds between people. And I would never choose to get out of it. But I miss them all terribly.