Posts Tagged ‘Death’


Wednesday, May 15th, 2013

Fictional Post.

The most beautiful thing in the world has to be the way the snowflakes gently fall to the ground, the way they softly land on your closed eyes. They cling to your eyelashes like a child grasping a mothers hand as it takes its first steps. But as I watch it melts from your lashes and more take it’s place. Eager to fill the space.

Being happy is like holding a baby and hearing it’s first laugh, it’s having a young child come up and hug you for no reason, it’s like hearing a bird sing it’s song of love, of seeing two cats curled into each other, it’s seeing two elderly people walking holding hands. It’s true, long lasting love.


And as the snow starts falling again, it picks up speed and more and more falls. Slowly trying to cover us. You gradually open your eyes, and I wonder if you were asleep… Your eyes carry the weight of grogginess. The blue seems not as bright today, instead of a bright Caribbean blue, they seem to be a light cloudy blue. The look in your eyes told me you couldn’t tell if this was a dream or not. So, acting as though its a dream, I pull you towards me and kiss you for the last time. As I let you go, I feel my mind go numb as the world around me fades. And I realize, if there’s any way to die, this would be it…

Silence So Loud

Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

This is a fictional poem.

His hand on her soft cheek,
Makes her body feel so weak.
She shivers against his body,
He pulls her closer to him;
And all the pain comes back to Kim.
Like a knife in her chest.

The tears roll down her face,
She must be such a disgrace.
Will all this pain ever leave her be?
As he holds her through the night,
He becomes her bright shining knight.
A love unlike the rest.

Depression’s just like a cloud,
Sometimes it’s just so loud.
And blood, the colour of a rose,
Trickles down her arms from fresh wounds.
Her body is now so attuned.
He thinks it’s just a test.

Camp and Saskatoon! 111

She loves him like no other,
But why’s he even bother?
She is not worth any of his pain.
And yet he’s still waiting here.
His love for her won’t last she fears.
Just like all of the rest.

But yet she loves him still,
For her, any empty void he fills.
Her love for him seems to be so strong.
He thinks that it’s all his fault.
She knows it’s almost to a halt.
Their love is for the best.

Strong, in their veins it pounds,
Better than most have found.
Ready to be shared with two lovers.
Thoughts of his lips tingles her mind.
And his touch, for her seems so kind.
A bird protects his nest.

She wishes she could be happy,
For he’s so cutely sappy.
And her body disgraces her.
And sends such shame to her loved ones.
“Fat, ugly, scars!” And for that she runs.
She is never at rest.

Her body feels pain swell,
It’s like a damn living hell.
It burns inside her like a flame.
She wants everything to end.
For there’s no way for it to mend.
She’s told she was the best.

She writes her last goodbye,
For her time to go is nigh.
It couldn’t have gone any better.
She wishes she could feel him near.
But he’s gone, he can’t interfere.
The letter of her rest;

“My dear, I love you so,
But you need to get me go.
This feels like knives in my hurt heart.
But my time has come to a close.
I die by your gift of a rose,
Let me go to my rest.

For you I’d walk million miles,
My one true love, my Kyle.
Never forget the love we shared.
For my time was well spent with you.
For you have always been so true.
Our love was nothing less.

Don’t lose hope in yourself,
And store our love on a shelf.
I wish that our love could last,
You were my one and only love.
So set our love free like a dove.
Just know it’s for the best.”

So as the blood runs out,
She lets out a cry of doubt.
The pain is becoming too much.
As the world starts to fade away;
She wishes to him she could say,
“I wish you all the best.

You made it worth waiting.”
And everything’s fading.
The world that she once knew and loved.
And she see’s him running to her,
Hoping that he can be the cure.
In his arms she’s at rest.

Her life was lost that night,
He has lost all will to fight.
Her family has lost all hope.
Her friends feel a thorn in their hearts.
All their feelings locked in a jar.
Like a knife in their chest.

Their voices like fusion.
The tears like a rough poison.
Will this fresh hole ever close up?
And like an old stone they crumble.
Each lost in pain and so humble.
A young girl now at rest.

The Inevitable

Monday, October 15th, 2012

Death… death is unavoidable. It’s a fact of life. Some choose to hide from the topic, others choose to be scared of it. But me? I’m not scared of it. I think about it frequently…

Being who I am, my life feels like a tightrope, one where there is no net below to catch me if I fall. That if I did fall, everything would be over, and that’s that. And if I were to fall, there would be no “YOU HAVE 5 DAYS/HOURS/MINUTES TO LIVE. MAKE IT WORTH WHILE” Mega phone guy telling me that. I’d have maybe 5 seconds and it would be over. That’s how life is. Car crashes, cancer, disease, the end, everything. It just ends.

It’s like in a movie, when it’s so intense, you are so engrossed, then it’s suddenly over… everything is done. The lights come up and you’re still sitting there like, what? You don’t get a choice; you don’t choose your life, unless that is… you choose to end it early.

You know that feeling when you tip too far back in a chair and it feels like your heart drops out of your body? I wonder if that’s how life ends… you’re lying there, or sitting there, or standing there, and suddenly you get that feeling and your life is over. As fast as that.

There are so many ways you can die. A terrible disease, a car accident, malnourishment, old age, falling, and suicide. There are more than that, but that’s too much to write down. Sometimes people die slowly, but is that really better? You never get a chance to say goodbye to your loved ones. Unless you do every day. But that’s not the final goodbye.

The final good bye is them burying you in the cemetery with everyone else they love. But what about the tears streaming down their faces, the swollen eyes days after, months after; it’s the longing in their hearts. But some people can never say goodbye. Goodbye has to be the hardest word to say. Because no one wants to let go. Letting go can be leaving a part of your childhood behind. Or a part of your future.

Suicide is a different story all together. You can say goodbye, without anyone knowing your saying goodbye. But then they think about those last moments over and over again. What was the last thing I said? Did I offend them in some way to push it? Was it my fault? Could I have stopped it? Then they come to the conclusion, it’s all my fault. And that haunts them forever. Sometimes suicides can get national reports. Even some deaths can be, suicides or not.

Death can be a long discussion. And a hard one, especially if you know someone who has currently died. And I know a few who have. I know sometimes you think, how am I supposed to get over this? How do I move on?

And the most common one of all, “Why him/her?” or “It’s my fault.” “Did I say I love them?”

Sometimes you just have to move on… it isn’t easy, and it will take time. Just remember, it’s ok to cry.


The Overdose

Wednesday, June 13th, 2012

This is a Fictional monologue.

So the day it happened I had had a bad day at school, some kids had picked on me and I just felt horrible. So when I got home I was already in craps-ville. I walked in the door and knew instantly my dad was drunk. Everything was everywhere. Pictures smashed, chairs broken, fabric on the groud… It was really frightening… so I headed upstairs, prepared to be there all night… but then I heard him screaming at me from the bottom of the stairs. He was yelling at me saying I was a mistake, they never wanted me, and that I’d grown into something he couldn’t control, some demon he didn’t want. He swore at me, calling me names… then he said it was my fault moms dead. I knew it wasn’t true but that hurt. It was a low blow. So I stood there watching him as he screamed at me, smashing everything in sight. He had never been this bad.

So when I knew he wouldn’t notice if I left I ran up the stairs, locked my door and cried. I cried for hours. There

I’ll sure miss this place…

was no one I could tell, no one I could talk to, no one I trusted… So I sat alone. Then I got up, walked around my room picking things up and setting them back down. Then I picked up the bottle of Tylonal… before I knew what I was doing I had downed 10 or 11… Then I picked up a pad of paper and wrote a note to everyone I cared about. To everyone who might care. Apologizing. Telling why and what happened. Being fully honest. But then my dad came to my door, begging I come out and listen to him. So I did. I went downstairs to find he had cleaned it up a bit. He sat on the couch with his head in his hands… and he apologized, he said that he just missed mom, and something came over him, that he knows it was wrong to yell, but he felt so alone. So I took a step forward and hugged him, knowing this may very well be the last time I ever did it. Then I whispered “I love you” and turned to go upstairs. I got only about halfway up the stairs when everything went blurry, I tried speeding up but I fell over, and went down the stairs. The last thing I remember was my dad running towards my body, and me whispering, “I’m sorry” and it all went black.

And now I guess I’m dead. I’m talking to myself… but not? And who are you? Someone to judge if I get to live? How should you get that power? I don’t know if I want to live or not. I just want everyone to know that this could have been stopped. I hope you make the right choice… *turn around and start walking away then turn suddenly around*

Wait, before you choose. I love my dad more than anything in this world, no matter what he said or did… Maybe it would be easier if I never went back… maybe if I left him alone he would finally be able to move on… to be happy.