I AM Grace Rosien

You’re the boy I can’t keep my eyes off. You’re the boy that as I walk through the halls I see you and blush. You’re the one I’ve had a crush on for years now, you’re the one who won’t like me back.

Captured by Tiffany Tremaine.

We talk like best friends, act like sweethearts, but we are just friends. All the effort I’ve put in has placed me in this place of friends. But friends is better than strangers. At least it lets me in your life. Your life of confusion and lost love. You’re fighting for a girl who doesn’t love you back. So why don’t you just turn around and let me. I’d show you compassion no other girl would. I’d show you the love I’ve stored up in my chest.

But your happiness isn’t mine to bring. It’s hers. The girl you are fighting so hard for. She’s the one who holds your heart. But I’ll hold your hand and walk beside you down this walkway of hell. I’ll help you get through this broken heart of yours. But I won’t forget the feelings I’ve buried. I’ll push them away so we can be happy.

Captured by Tiffany Tremaine.

I’ll push them away so I can help you find love. I’ll push them away till I’m convinced they’re gone. But deep down, I’ll always know. Deep down I’ll hate how I never stood up and kissed you. Deep down, I’ll be ashamed. But up front, I am happy. I am here. I am well. I show no sign of the war I’ve fought. I show no sign of the pain I’ve seen.

I’ll store that love for the one who will return it. I’ll store that compassion for someone who will appreciate it. I’ll save myself for someone who is right. I just hope that he’s waiting for me just as I am for him.

Photography by Tiffany Tremaine.

Fictional Monologue. 

Cheaters are people most people hate. But for some reason I keep going back to him… he cheats on me again and again and I never learn. I keep telling myself that I love him. But then when he cheats… he tells me that it meant nothing to him, that I’m the only one he’ll ever love. When he looks at me with those blue eyes, how could I deny it? So I fall for him again and again. But I’m done. I can’t handle that type of pain… I just can’t. It feels like something is digging deeper and deeper into my chest… Sooner or later I will break down… I guess I’m doing that right now.

But he hurts me. And he loves me. I love him. I love him… but I am seriously falling apart. I have depression. I have eating disorders. I have insomnia. I’ve been diagnosed for all of those… but how do I keep going with him? He’s only making it worse. I hate it! I have to leave… and never come back. I have to get better… maybe if I move… maybe if I leave this place then I’ll get better. My whole family is scared of me. I hate this. I told my parents what happened. So now we’re moving. I hope it gets better. I need it to. I really do.

Monologue by: Grace Rosien