Posts Tagged ‘Pain’

The Blade

Monday, October 1st, 2012

It was a dark alley, there were no lights, and she was walking down it alone. Down the middle no less, she should have known better, but her mind was on other things. Better more intense things… so she didn’t notice when a shadow crouched up behind her until it was too late. She knew the smell of the chloroform before it touched her mouth.

The more intense things going through her mind was the feeling of his hand on her face, their bodies pressed tightly together, evaporating all space between them. Of his lips against hers, moist and soft. She could still feel his touch… still taste his lips. She was dizzy with love. She forgot about what she had to be scared of. She forgot that people were after her, that it wasn’t safe to be out alone at night.

Ruby was always cocky like that, she thought she could take anyone… but you can’t do much to fight chloroform. But she did get a good kick in.

She woke up in a dark room, light was coming from somewhere above, but she couldn’t figure out where. She was tied down, and there was water dripping on her face. She couldn’t move from the water. It was driving her nuts. She knew this was only the beginning, so she began to put up walls around her emotions. Using him as a force field. It worked. She forgot about the water and everything, and sensations came back, along with feelings. When someone actually touched her face she flinched from her little fantasy. When she opened her eyes she thought she was dreaming. It was him, Jordon, stroking her face. She tried to move, but the restraints were still there and so was the water.

She looked into his eyes, and it was like she could see into his soul. But right now it wasn’t happy. There was pain in his deep green eyes. They were an odd colour, like a forest, mossy green. But she knew in that moment what to do, since her hands weren’t tied down, she watched them move towards him, pulling him down on her, almost crushing her, but not.

The moment their lips touched something changed, she saw into his mind, actually saw, she saw how he was warring with himself. But over what? We’re in love. Nothing can tear that apart. The connection was suddenly cut, but it still felt like they were melting into each other, becoming one, but there was something wrong about it… his lips tasted and felt… wrong. But before she could figure it out he pulled away, and got off her.

“I’m sorry Rubes. I… had no choice. I love you.” Then she realised what his other had was holding, it was a knife. He drove the knife into her abdominal area, everything faded, the last thing she remembered was him leaning down and kissing her lips one last time.

To be continued…

Clarissa – One Year

Saturday, September 1st, 2012

It’s like she’s a ghost, wandering these halls. Every time I think I see her, a thread of hope is

brought back. But in the next second, it’s like it was snipped… Not cleanly, because it continues to bleed and hurt like an infected wound. Do I wish I could forget her? No. Do I want the pain to end? I guess… but does that mean forgetting her?

I’m scared that if the pain goes away, that I’ll forget how much of an impact she made on my life.

I remember once, when I was little and we had to give her and Smodge a bath… My brothers and I sat out on the couch while my mom and dad wrestled with the cats. All we could hear was ‘yowling’ and whispering. Then, everything went quiet and my brothers and I looked at each other, then jumped up all racing to get there first. I was the first one to get there. My mom gave me a bundle of what looked like cloth. But it was warmer, and vibrating. I lookeddown into the bright, little, green eyes of Clarissa. She was growling. After a lot of rubbing and shushing and talking to, Clarissa’s growling turned to purring. I could usually make her purr when she was growling. All my friends and a lot of our family would call her a Demon Kitty, I just called her my baby.

Whenever I was upset or just needed someone to talk or rant to, my cats would be the ones I’d go to. Because they couldn’t judge me.

Whenever I was crying Clarissa would come and curl beside me and lick my face, trying to get me to stop crying. I could use her right now.

I swear she could understand me. That’s why I could never say she was dying. But I’d talk to her for hours. She’d purr right beside me and occasionally lick me.

It feels weird to cry and not have her beside me. It makes me feel  empty. People always tell me that it’s weird to mourn an animal. But she was like a sister to me. Or a daughter. And I feel alone without her.

Everyone needs their time to mourn. And I hope I never forget her.